1. |
Lavender
03:04
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Roads ran out, spaces filled now empty. Sleep is coming, just a few miles left. Quiet Feet dance across the bathroom tile before unconsciousness claims me. Maybe if I scream someone will hear giving that someone could care. And I’ve seen it in her eyes, how the world weighs heavy. And I choke as the blood fills in my throat gargling on my own self contempt. These days still wash away like ashes in the rain. Quiet feet dance across the bathroom tile. Blood streaks as the cold sets. And I have seen the way it takes away from your smiles and hides below the surface holding its tongue. And can you see it in my eyes? How the world weighs heavy. She chokes as the blood fills in her throat breathing deep to end the pain. Does it seem to have made any difference? Seems to me like you’re still off your feet. And as dead to me as you’ve been, no amount of water could wash your hands clean.
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2. |
...And the River
02:09
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Unexpected cold December. I shiver alone once more. And this house is so damn cold. And my fears have grown so old. Begging for forgiveness, all apologies. Wading in the river, we’ll surely freeze.
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3. |
Descending
05:39
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Falling backwards I've never felt so content without your knife at my back to break my descent. And I'm still writing the letters that I'll never send, wrote in ink and blurred by the things we feared. And darling I don’t know what to say when you’re standing there screaming showing off your fangs. Never cared about the things you had to say cause I wouldn’t wear your scarlet letter. Can’t bring me down if I forget you exist. Buried in the ground where I still won’t be missed. I’m bleeding out with my wrists slit and I hope with sleep comes comfort or just more than this. Took only two months to see the blood on my hands, but it was the ghosts in my head that you couldn't stand. Misunderstood and no good but it’s all just pretend. And unlike the songs she wrote won't be missed when I'm dead.
And darling I have nothing to say with your foot on my throat and my airways restrained. Never cared about the things you had to say cause I won’t wear your scarlet letter. Can’t bring me down if I forget you exist. Buried in the ground where I still won’t be missed. I’m bleeding out with my wrist slit and I hope with sleep comes comfort orjust more than this. And darling I have nothing to say when you’re standing there smiling with my insides displayed. Never cared about the things you had to say cause I won’t wear your scarlet letter. Can’t bring me down if I forget you exist. Buried in the ground where I still won’t be missed. I’m bleeding out with my wrists slit and I hope with sleep comes comfort or just more than this.
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4. |
An Elegy of Emptiness
05:05
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I saw something new, something old. Ice cold in your house with no one around. Six days in the same place just to still feel worthless. Much too late to hope for better days. Todays just a waste and this is all so pointless. Much too late for your fake sympathy. Could come a day where nothing could hurt, but oh what’s the point if I can’t taste it anymore? What a relief it is leaving this all in the past. As if I’ve been set free knowing tonight is my last. Turn out the lights and drown in bliss.
Has all my life led up to this? Broken and defeated chasing what was never there. As I’m standing on the edge and leaning slowly forward. Ending my life to save myself from all of this displeasure.
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